The Hard Truth About Boundaries

The hard truth about boundaries is that when you set then, you have to abide by them. I’ve clearly been MIA from this blog for EIGHT months! Funny because I started this blog full force wanting to give career tips etc. Truth be told, that was when I was between jobs, doing contracting and frankly, had the time.

When I exited the workforce almost a year ago to today, I wanted to make sure the next role I took, I was better at not letting work take over my life. As I said before on this blog - work is a part of life. It’s not LIFE. I also wanted to make sure my life was more balanced. I had to finally accept the fact that there is an infinite time to every day and I cannot do it all. Merely TRYING to do it all would likely lead me to burn out faster.

I took a demanding job but I really love it. It requires me to travel A LOT and it make look like my life is all about work but its actually not. It ebbs and flows in an expected way. A few months ago when it was getting to be too much - I set a boundary. I literally emailed my boss and the gist was “hey so for the next 45 days I’m working on X, Y and Z because I need to focus on those things for A,B and C reason. So H, I, J,K and L balls are going to get dropped but I’ll pick them back up when I can give it time.” I then sent a similar note to my peers- no joke. So they understood my boundary and expectations. Low and behold, I got X, Y and Z done in time, some things early and could take on other things again. That was a boundary.

It’s why this blog temporarily faded away. I had to set a boundary. I did not want every hour of my day spent “doing something” - I wanted time to just relax. At the outset of the job, I definitely had to invest more time in work - so the blog went to the wayside. Then I got work under control and I wanted to work on getting acclimated to a new city. So the blog went to the side. Then (and still) I wanted to work on my mental health - again the blog was on the side. It’s because I set boundaries and tbh, I didn’t feel bad about it.

I’m at a place now where I can fit the blog back in - yay! So for now, the blog is “in bounds” but the boundaries can change. Look for more posts from me on an inconsistent basis (setting expectations with you, reader).

In the meantime, till the next blog, what boundaries do you NEED to set? And why aren’t you setting them like.. tomorrow??

PS I literally wrote this on the train - that northeast regional DC to NYC!

Do you take time to think?

I’m fully back into the swing of working and you know what that means. Meetings, meetings, more meetings, DMs, IMs, pings, meetings about meetings, meetings and more DMs and IMs. Everything and at times, everyone, demands our attention or something from us. But are you looking out for you?

Many of us are victims of other people’s calendars and schedules. There’s always going to be someone more important, someone whose calendar supersedes ours. As much as we’d like to be like “My time is MY time and I’m the boss!” - we aren’t always. That’s just business and its fine but you still need to make business work for you.

I’m a self admitted non morning person and I don’t mind working past “working hours”. No matter what, each day I try to spend 45 minutes of my time thinking, getting my ducks in a row. Sometimes these are outside of working hours and I’m good with that. Sometimes it’s during working hours and I feel lucky about that. But that’s always super intentional.

My thinking time is usually me reflecting on something I heard in a meeting, writing a question I need an answer to. A lot of times it’s “I need clarification this question and I need to ask X about it”. During my thinking time, I' only do the first part. The “I need clarification on this question” because my thinking time is just that - thinking time. It’s not action time. I realized usually when we think of something, that feels like we must do it NOW. If we don’t do it NOW we’ll forget. Spoiler alert: if you write it down you don’t forget.

I used to do both: thought of something and immediately wrote that email or IMed that person because it had to get done NOW. I realized I was only getting half of my “NOWs” done and forgetting my other “NOWs”. So now (ha), I just write it down and do the action later.

So my thinking time is usually generating a list, writing down questions to myself, jotting down notes. It is never pinging someone, it is never drafting an email because my thinking time is for me to think. It’s definitely made me sharper and more organized. It’s not easy. You’ll want to email or IM that person NOW but I guarantee you’ll forget to do something else just as important.

So do yourself a favor and give yourself some thinking time every day! Report back when you can!

PS I had to write this post 2x because the whole draft got deleted so extra special thanks if you read this whole thing!

Tactics: More Effective 1:1s

1:1 meetings. If you’re up and reading this, you’ve probably taken a gander at your calendar for this first full work week of 2019 and are feeling very “FML”. You’ve got tons of meetings - some group meetings and some 1:1s and maybe no idea WTH any of the meetings are for. If you’re a participant in a group meeting- you can skip this post. If you’re going to be in a 1:1 - you should read this post.

1:1s are a whole different ballgame and you can control a lot of it. And you should. Go through right now and list out your 1:1s and take a few minutes to ask yourself: What do I need to get out of this meeting with this person. That’s the beginning of your agenda.

If you’re driving the agenda, this is how I typically structure mine. I also always send over an agenda 24 hours in advance.

• Two parts: FYI/Inform and Discuss

• For discuss, try to write the topic and question you want answered

  • ex. Performance Reviews - How will the calibration process look?

• By listing out the questions, maybe the person can answer them in the email without needed to discuss them during the 1:1

• Ask the other participant for any adds and to add them in a different color

• During the meeting, I strikethrough each topic so I know it’s been discussed

• All uncovered topics get moved to the following week and/or I follow up in an email

If your workplace works on collaborative documents like Quip or Google Docs, it’s really easy to keep all the agendas in the same doc and link to the agenda in calendar invite.

A bonus of taking this approach is that you might be able to condition other people to this format so that when they’re making agendas with you - they use the same format! Try it out and let me know how it works.

As always, share your tips in the comments!

Tactics: Tidying Up Your Inbox

*A note: I realize there’s so much to be learned about HOW to get work done. All my how to posts will be labeled with “Tactics:”

Woohoo! It’s pre-holidays week! Depending on your role, it’s the best week of the year and/or one of the most stressful weeks of the year. Its hopefully when your colleagues are winding down and so are you. Some of you are taking official breaks and some unofficial breaks aka not a whole lot of meetings and no need to use vacation days.

This happens to be a great time to get your shit together! Kick start your resolution! And at work… there’s one place to start -> your inbox. [I really hope none of yall are the mailbox on the left. If you are, MAYBE these tips will help but maybe it won’t.]

Despite gchat, lync, Slack, email is still one of the most used channels in a workplace and it’s usually a cluster in there. Even as a Chief of Staff, my inbox was notoriously one of the worsts and super disorganized. I definitely made sure everything was “read”but I had no idea where to find emails or even if I had responded to ones. I sometimes relied on that “PER MY LAST EMAIL” reminder to take action. But thankfully, I was saved when I started working directly for one of the most organized executives I had ever seen. Literally, she was almost at inbox zero or inbox 15. I think the only time she went to inbox 15 was when I had to manage her email (sorry about that).

Starting a new job this week though I was DETERMINED to start organized and I spent the last three months actually organizing my personal email. Here’s how.

• Set up folders/labels. THIS IS SO EASY TO DO. Just friggin do it. Just look at your most recent 50 emails and start building folders off of what you see. “1:1 email from boss” “All staff notes” “Quick Update with Comp” “Random” “Doc Access” “Recognition”. These folders will help you 1 search easier and 2 get things out of your inbox!

• Move emails into the folders. I promise, you won’t lose the emails forever. They’ll still be there but in their place instead of right in your face. This might even decrease some anxiety you feel anytime you’re on email.

• Automate the filing. I know you can do this is Outlook (i actually did this) and I think you can do it in Gmail. It’s easy- set up a rule “Emails with “Puppy” in Subject line go to “Adorable” folder. It’s doable and it’ll save you a lot of time. The folder will then be bolded so you know what’s unread

• Color code your emails! This is my favorite feature. I set a rule to color code emails from “VIPs” aka My Boss, My Boss’s Boss, Expense Team (or whoever is chasing me). The color immediately draws your attention to the email like a red alert! You’ll never miss those important emails again and well if they’re still in your inbox unread- you might have some explaining to do

• Send & Archive. By far the easiest way to just get an email out of your face. You have to add this in Gmail and I think set a rule in Outlook but this gets the email out your inbox and into an archive. If it’s labeled, it’ll go into the appropriate folder and only pop up when a response to the thread comes up. It’s worth it.

Now if you’ve been at a company for like 5+ years, its probably too hard and a gigantic waste of time to go and categorize all your email. Hell, 3 months and its hard. I suggest setting up a folder system going FORWARD (pun semi intended). This will make you way more efficient and organized in the New Year. You’re going to thank me first and yourself later when you realize how much better you feel managing email.

Share your tips and tricks in the comments!

Picking Between Two Things

In my opinion, binary decisions are the hardest decisions. Do you want the red pill? Or do you want the blue pill? I just want to know why I can’t have purple. It’s usually because purple isn’t even an option. So you have to choose. This decision can apply to your career a couple ways, first - do you keep your current job or go get a new. Second, you have two job offers and you don’t know which to take.

I admittedly just went through the second scenario and while I should have approached it as a positive, I felt AWFUL about it. Both of the opportunities were amazing and I truly wanted to do both. But as luck would have it, I couldn’t. So I had a really hard decision to make. The decision was compounded by the fact that all of a sudden, there was an “opportunity cost”. If I take X, then I don’t get Y - and I know what that cost was both in dollars and experience. So naturally, I reached out to my all important and all knowing network because surely someone would tell me what to do.

Yeah, no one told me what to do but I got a lot of mental prompts and things to think about. Here a couple of those things:

• You do not want to be in a position where you resent your pay

• Do not think of it as opportunity cost/loss, think of it as opportunity gain

• What factors in a workplace matter most to you

• Work subject aside what are your must haves

• Do you want to learn exponentially or incrementally?

• If one is your “dream” job - is it the right time to take the job? Will you be able to take it later?

• Which job enables you the life you envision for yourself now and 5 years from now

I bolded the last one because it was such salient advice given to me by one of my long time mentors. When I thought about my life, which duh prior blog post talks about how I feel about work and life, the answer was CRYSTAL clear. I simply wrote out what I wanted my life to look like now, in the near future, and further out. My decision was made on a 20 minute train ride when I had spent literal WEEKS agonizing. Granted, I will give myself huge credit for getting out of my existing environment - I went all the way to Europe to think for 20 minutes but I think the change of scenery really helped.

I would advise anyone that is thinking of a big change in their career, especially between two options, to really think about that broader life question. Work is just one part of life so you’d better make sure it enables the life you want.

Also there’s a shortcut! Flip a coin. Seriously. Assign each role to one side of the coin. When that coin is in the middle of the air, all of a sudden you’ll find yourself praying/hoping in lands on one side. That’s likely the role you should take :)

How have you decided between two big things career wise?

Managing Up! WTH is that?

Management is traditionally thought of as a tops down structure. There’s a team of people and they report to one person who in turn is responsible for what the team does. Management basically looks like a pyramid. But spoiler alert: managers don’t always know what they’re doing because they’re not always doing the hands on work. That’s where managing up comes in to play.

Managing up is basically defined as teaching your boss how to manage you. Or, if you want to change the language, making your own life easier under a boss. I personally like to think of it as making myself the easiest person the boss has to manage.

Managing up comes down to doing two things in tandem: providing information, proactively. I find the more successful I am at managing up, the more successful my relationship with my manager.

You’ll be introduced to the concept of managing up when you feel like your boss is asking you a billion questions, “micro managing” or in general, wants to help you but doesn’t know how. The best way to help them help you is to provide them information without asking.

• Pick up on patterns. If you know every week your boss on Tuesday is going to ask you about X, well tell them about X the on Monday or at the top of the day on Tuesday.

• Ask them how you can help. If you notice a big organization shift or a project that’s going to affect your team, bring it up to them. Talk about how you noticed and you’re wondering how that will impact them and how you can support them.

• Send end of week summaries. This works best for a micro manager and eventually you wean them off of it but helpful at the end of every week to shoot them a message about what you accomplished that week, what you’ll be working on next week and how you can use their help next week.

• Send agendas for 1:1s in advance. Listen, you need to control meetings with YOUR boss because the meeting is about what YOU need. You do this by being proactive and sending agendas in advance. I usually structure my agendas into two parts: Inform and Discuss. The inform is literally for them to consume in advance and isn’t discussed in the meeting while the discuss is… discussed.

What are some of the ways you manage up with your boss to make your life easier?

The Reference Can Make or Break You

I’m back y’all! I took a mini vacation to turn 31 and travel about but we’re back and so are the regular blog posts!

The New Year is coming up and you might be thinking about a new role or you’re interviewing for a new role. Either way, you’re likely going to need references. Picking references is super important- they can make or break you getting the role. Here are some tips about picking and then prepping your references.

• A peer, a manager and a direct report (if you’re a manager). Make sure you have one of each in your back pocket at all times. It’s hard to tell which reference the company will need from the outset so make sure you have one of each.

• Who to pick? Obviously, you want to pick someone who you’ve had a positive experience with. The ideal reference also has intimate knowledge with your work, workstyle and can speak to one of your stories from the previous post.

• Let them know you’re listing them. Before you give the name and contact information of your reference to who you’re interviewing with, ask them if it’s okay. This gives them the option to opt out if they feel like they can’t give you a positive reference (which is great if you have the opposite impression). You definitely do not want someone being blindsided to give an opinion on you because no one likes being blindsided. Also, it makes you look bad in their eyes and well, you want them to talk about how you’re great!

• Give them talking points! At this point in the interview process, you know what kind of role it is, what the expectations of you are and where they’ve probed a lot. All of these data points are going to be key for your reference. Prime your reference on exactly what you want them to speak to. Give them the bullet points and/or an area you want them to focus (Ex: The company asked me a lot of questions about my problem solving ability. I think I demonstrated these skills when we worked on X together, so if you could focus your comments there, that would be helpful).

Now this approach works best when the interviewer is only talking to people you recommend. Sometimes, interviewers go and talk to people you didn’t recommend. They find usually find these people through LinkedIn. That’s why it’s support important to in general, be a really good worker, co-worker etc. You literally never know if this person will get called upon so deliver your results, help others and ultimately, be a pleasure to work with!

Assessing A New Opportunity: You Must Interview Them

With every job hunt, there’s an interview process. This is the process that the employer sets up to evaluate whether or not you’ll be good for the company and/or job. The process is designed and dictated entirely by the employer. Which is fine to a point because they’re assessing you but what about you assessing them? If you haven’t thought about how you’re going to assess them, think about it now.

Sure there is Glassdoor but I’m an advocate of truly understanding the situation you’re going to get yourself into. Usually in the interview process you’ll interview with your future boss and peers. That gives you some of the picture. To fill out the picture there’s someone you definitely need to speak to:

The person who had the job before you.

While you should approach this with caution- you don’t know if they were fired, quit or are still at the company in another position, it is imperative you reach out. This person will understand the ins and outs of the job and might be able to give you insight into how your boss manages and maybe what the job should be like in the future. I recommend using the tips from the Informational Interview blog post. LinkedIn is usually going to be your best first stop to figure out who had the job beforehand but you should also not be afraid to ask if you can talk to the person who had the job as part of your interview process.

If there isn’t someone who had the job before you aka it’s a new position, you should leverage your network to find someone on that team, in the department or at the company to talk to about the company and the role. Your next job is going to be part of your life and you owe it to yourself to find out as much about the position as possible.

Bonus tip: if you’re a manager and not interviewing with someone who would report to you, 100% ask to interview with a potential direct report. The people that report to you are going to be imperative to your success and vice versa. You know what it’s like to have a manager you never got to meet, so you want to build a relationship before day 1. For this conversation, definitely ask them as many questions as you can - what did they like about their former manager? What do they wish the manager did more of? What gets in the way of them doing their best work? etc. Of course leave time for them you ask you questions but really drive the conversation. It is of course, your career!

Pick Your Mini Stories!

If you haven’t sat down to think about 1. where you are career wise and 2. how you got (t)here, I’d advise you do that before you start looking for a new opportunity. Your story is everything and while you’ve lived your life, no one else has so they don’t know you who you are. It’s your job to tell them who you are to get a job.

I think the best way to think about your story is through small vignettes. Think of 3-4 defining career moments - an accomplishment, a decision, a failure and one that incorporates one of your values. One of my values is “empower & uplift others” so I have a specific story about how I helped a co-worker shine in a way she never had before. It’s one of my proudest accomplishments.

These vignettes are the anchor to the question “So walk me through your career.” It will help you tell a cohesive focused story so you aren’t just rambling. These vignettes should also be the foundation for the questions you answer during an interview “Tell me about a time when you failed”, “What is your proudest accomplishment”, “Why this job?” or “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” To all of these questions you should have strong, familiar to you, answers.

Use the traditional structure of a story- setting (where/when), characters (you and who else), plot (sequence of events), conflict (a challenge ps this adds suspense) and theme (accomplishment, failure, decision, demonstration of your value). Even in an accomplishment there was a conflict you had to overcome. Map out each one of your vignettes and practice them on friends, family and yes, interviews. The better your can articulate who you are through a story, likely, the better your chances at landing the job!

Advancing Up The Ladder

A lot of people used to ask me “How did you move so fast? How did you get to where you are?”. This was back in my corporate days and it was a fair question since, depending on the year, I was only 4-7 years removed from college. I was usually working on projects that VPs were overseeing and eventually worked directly for a C-Suite member. Everyone wanted to know, what’s the secret sauce.

First, I don’t think there’s a true secret sauce but I think there were 3 things I’ve always tried to do throughout my career that have served me well and kept me advancing. Feel free to try them out for yourself

1. Deliver results and maximize the impact. Results are table stakes. No one wants to hear about your new idea, or how something can be done better in another area when you aren’t getting your job done. So the number one thing you have to do, is get your job done! If you need to ask questions to get it done, ask questions. If you need to work long hours for a bit, well do it. Deliver what you’re supposed to deliver then ask yourself well what is the 20% more impact of this? How can the result you deliver help your peer? Help your team? Help the overall organization? How can you share knowledge with others to level them up. Don’t seek the recognition, seek to maximize the impact.

2. Find a leader you respect and learn from them. I always pictured myself as a leader even without the scope or the authority. So to become a “recognized” leader, I figured I’d better learn from the leaders at my company. I paid attention to who was driving the big strategies, big projects, opening keynotes and in general, had followers. Then, I stuck my neck out and asked for the informational interview. I picked their brain on how they got to where they are, observed what some of their signature behaviors were and tried to incorporate that into my work. Sometimes, I even ended up working for these people and I used those opportunities to ask questions and LEARN. I’ve always felt there’s way more I don’t know how to do so i’d better learn from the people that mastered something!

3. Seek out and give feedback. I would not know what I do well and what I don’t do well if I didn’t ask about it. I frequently ask for what I could be doing better. I get the whole “focus on your strengths” argument but one of my strengths is learning so if I want to learn how to do something better, I need to know what that something is. And I work at it. I’m also a firm believer that giving feedback is important to learn how to communicate effectively and to be seen as a team player that raises the performance of others. Think of how they describe Lebron, players get better when they play with him! I always want to be the Lebron to a team and a key component of that is helping others. You help others by being honest and giving feedback. You raise the performance of the whole team.

I’ve been pretty true to these three things since I started working. I’m not sure how I started doing these three things but I do. Part of it is I love working, I love learning and I love helping others. Those three components played out in my behaviors and got me to where I wanted to be.

Remove The First Roadblock

“Remove the first roadblock” this is the advice I give to people when they come to me with a problem they’re trying to solve. Often, we have a billion things we need to do especially on that one big project that has so many moving components. We get caught up in ALL the things we need to get accomplish to get the goal done, then we get overwhelmed, de-motivated and are unsure of where to start. The starting point is usually where you run into your first problem and/or decision. That’s your first roadblock and you have to get it out of the way before you move your actions and thoughts forward. Here’s a real life example.

Someone reporting to me needed to host a big training for one of our product offerings. We needed to make sure the room was full, that there would be an instructor, where the training would be and what time. But since this was the first training, she also needed to figure out how to market it, how to manage registration, how to manage the evaluation and a whole host of other things. The main objective “host a big training” had turned into 1000 little projects that felt like they all needed to be solved in that moment. Truth is, they didn’t. Just one thing had to get solved - the first roadblock. So I asked her “what is your first roadblock.” It was picking a date.

The first date option, we’d definitely have instructors available but it would be a quick push to do marketing and get students (aka we could have instructor and no students) the second option we’d have time to do marketing but not a confirmed instructor (aka students with no one to teach them). We worked through a pro and con list and went with the latter option. Once we cleared that first roadblock of picking a date, we could start to plan out the other roadblocks (finding an instructor, marketing plan, registration set up etc). It made it easier to focus on smaller chunks of the project. The training was a success and I know this person now uses that approach as she works through other things.

The first roadblock helps you to stay focused on what is in your immediate way that is preventing you from moving forward. It also helps you to make sure you don’t pile on a bunch of decisions when you really only need to make one. Think about your next big project or task, what’s that first roadblock you need to clear?

Reading Railroad!

Imagine I said the title of this post “Reading Railroad” to the “Reading Rainbow” tune. It works and yes, rails as in tracks, as in come along this journey with me! I LOVE reading and I am constantly trying to make sure I know more tomorrow than I do today. Thankfully, there are a ton of great books out there and I’ve read quite a few. Below are some of my favorites. Click on the cover to buy them via Amazon!

The First 90 Days: Critical Success Strategies for New Leaders at All Levels by Michael D Watkins

This book is a no brainer. Once you’ve signed that offer letter, pick this book up now! This is a quick read because of the way it’s structured and the main takeaway is consistently reinforced: you don’t know all the answers so seek to understand first. I like to go back to this book at the 30, 60 and 90 day mark to see what I’ve already applied and what I haven’t. Also a great book to give to your new hire on your team!

The Hard Thing About Hard Things: Building a Business When There Are No Easy Answers by Ben Horowitz

Shoutout to former boss, friend and mentor Laura Weidman Powers for this recommendation. This book helps you understand that EVERYTHING in business is a tradeoff and has an opportunity cost. The best you can do is make an informed decision but sometimes things are just a leap. To take the leap, you have to understand the risk but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth jumping. Ben does a great job walking the reader through some big decisions that leaders at all levels but especially, startups have to make to survive.

Leading the Unleadable: How to Manage Mavericks, Cynics, Divas, and Other Difficult People by Alan Willet

Not everyone you manage is going to be terrible. Heck, you might never manage a terrible person but it helps to prepare for the worst. I really liked this book because it came down to understanding your role as a manager/leader- to maximize results for the company aka enable your employees to deliver the results needed. Alan gives a lot of strategies but ultimately communication is the key. His systematic ways to deal with different conversations and types of people are helpful and applicable.

Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson

I just noted that communication is a big key for successful managerial relationships but really it’s true at all levels. Candidly, I went through this book during a workshop but have revisited it multiple times. I recommend you read this one with a peer or your whole team and implement the framework. Step one is literally calling it like it is- a crucial conversation. But to make sure it doesn’t turn into the dreaded “We need to talk” meeting, you should read the rest of the book!

The Innovator's Dilemma: When New Technologies Cause Great Firms to Fail (Management of Innovation and Change) by Clayton Christensen

Yes we all know it, don’t be Blockbuster and don’t be Kodak but what really happened to those companies and why weren’t they able to pivot? Well innovation was probably stymied and being risk averse. Sometimes you as a company need to invest in that low margin low ROI product and yes that takes away from the high margin stuff but it could pay off. Don’t get your lunch eaten by the competition and this book talks about who’s had their lunch eaten and who hasn’t and the why’s behind both. I can admit for an innovation book it’s dry but hey, still a good read!

A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future by Daniel Pink

I love this book because I’m left handed but also because it basically predicted exactly where we are today. The right brain is the part that controls creativity, empathy, innovation etc. These are the skills that computers can’t be programmed to do which means the right brain is the human’s unique value add because we’ve gone from the agricultural age, to the information age to the conceptual age. It’s an awesome fascinating read and will make you feel like by being human your possibilities are endless so shut it down Watson!

Figuring Out What To Do Next

We all come to that point in our careers where we get asked “What do you want to do next?”

I have to answer this right now as I’m going through a career pivot and truly have to decide what I want to do next. I have to decide so I can apply to the right jobs, at the right places and hopefully, secure a job I’ll be happy with. It sounds exciting to think about but it can be daunting. There are just so many things we as people can do! After a couple of weeks of being a little bit stagnant, it was time to just sit down think about it and write it down.

I love writing notes but I like making tables/charts more. So to figure out what to do next - I made a chart. Two columns “Things I love doing” “Things I hate doing”. I started with the ‘hate doing’ first because psychology tells us the brain reacts more to negatives than positives so naturally, those were WAY easier to come up with. The shortcut then is to write down the opposite of all the hates but that’s not really LOVE. That’s more like “Things I don’t hate doing.”

To figure out what I loved to do, I thought about the times I’ve been super excited to get out of bed for work, felt energized at work, felt hyper-ish and happy just recalling a moment. I then broke those moments out - what the moment, was anyone else involved, what was my role in the moment and what other moments felt that way. By doing this, I could narrow down if it’s replicable or not. Some moments, it was a particular person I worked with. I might never work with that person again but I can seek positions that work with someone that has skillsets that are similar to the person I loved worked with.

Once I figured out my “loves” I started looking for jobs where some of the responsibilities and/scope aligned with the position. I got a whole bunch of different titles - “Strategist” “Chief of Staff” ‘Business Operations Director” “Change Management Director” etc etc. I saved bullet points to make my own job req with most of my loves. The next step is to find a company I really like (we’ll talk about how you figure this out) and see if they have a position that lines up with my “loves”. I’ve found a couple that I feel really good about but I wouldn’t be able to be this narrow without sitting down and writing it out.

So on your next commute, or on a 15 minute break or literally any other time you have 10 minutes, try this exercise out! It’s a love/hate situation :)

Introducing "The Next Stop"

I started this blog to share what I know to help others. I know that I don’t know everything but I do know really amazing people that know things I don’t. It’s super important to me that I highlight these other amazing people because they too have a ton to share! So I’m introducing a monthly feature.

On the last day of each month, I’ll have a guest blogger write for the “Next Stop” on the tip train. This month, it’s Jeana Kats. I picked Jeana as my first stop in October because 1 she’s amazing and for another specific reason. Jeana is a breast cancer survivor and in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month I wanted to feature her because of the incredible career pivot she made in light of what she went through.

In addition, I made a contribution on behalf of Jeana to Consano.org. Their mission “To provide a platform that enables individuals to donate directly to specific medical research projects and programs, advancing medical progress and empowering individual action.” Consano was founded by another survivor and a friend of Jeana’s so I encourage you to donate today, tomorrow and whenever you can.

Peep the next post coming tomorrow morning for the next stop with Jeana!

Manage Your Commute!

This blog is the genesis of a daily activity I partook in for a year and a half. I’m not alone either. There are tons of articles out there about how many people, commute how far etc. Commute times have actually crept up a minimal amount the past 6 years after decreasing for 7 years.

I grew up in Delaware where I didn’t feel like a commute was uncommon. My parents each commuted at least 1 hour each way throughout most of my childhood. So I thought that’s just what people do - commute. I commuted in Portland (1 hour), Sacramento (45 minutes) and then the Bay Area (1 hour and 1.5 hours) all of that one way. I learned pretty quickly if I was going to commute, then I’d better maximize the time. So if you commute here are some tips to get the most out of it!

A real life IG Story I posted last December!

• Pick a marker - In the Bay Area, the Palo Alto stop on Caltrain was my “marker”. It was about halfway between my origination and destination. On the way to work, I’d do NO WORK until I hit Palo Alto. On the way home, I’d work until I hit Palo Alto. That stop marked a physical break from me between work and home.

• Monday Mornings - I did the same thing every Monday on my commute after my marker. I looked at my calendar for the week and wrote out the top 5 things I needed to accomplish that week no matter what.

• Managing my intake - Commuting times were my email times. Even if I didn’t have service, I’d try to draft as many “must respond to” emails as possible. My goal was also to complete those emails during my commute in and my commute home.

• Focus on SOMETHING. - Raise your hand if you’ve started reading something and your mind wandering off or you started a podcast then found yourself having no idea what the podcast was about. Yeah, that’s because we suck at focusing. So I wanted to train myself to focus on something. I’d either read or listen to a podcast for a set amount of time each day on my commute. I stuck to 10 minutes because that was feasible for me. If your whole commute is 10 minutes, try to maybe just listen intently to a podcast for 5 minutes.

• If you need to sleep, sleep. - I am not a morning person and sometimes that walk to the train station, waiting for the train and picking my seat didn’t wake me up. So I slept. However, I always made sure I slept till that marker to keep my commitment to my routine.

So maybe you read my tips and were like cool Cherizza but I drive. Well during your drive are you just mindlessly listening to music, cursing that you’re heading to work or thinking about nothing at all? The point of this is to get focused in the morning so you can have the best chance at a successful workday or work week.

Can you find a time in your commute where you say “When I get to this light, I will start thinking about what I want to get done today” or “I am going to focus on this book on tape for the next 7 minutes” or “ Tomorrow morning I am going to get up early to do X”. Whatever you decide, commuting doesn’t have to be time wasted. It can be time you use to help yourself.

Fitting Work into Your Life

I hate the term work life balance. When I hear that term, I think of two opposing forces, a one or the other, a work vs. life battle. Truth is, work is a PART of life. Just like family, friends, fun, health and all other things are different parts that make up your life.

Don’t get me wrong, I love working. I LOVE having a career - obviously, as evidenced by this blog but I make a conscientious effort to ensure that work is a PART of my life. It enables the life I want to live. There is no bigger example of how I embody this than my move to DC. I picked the place first. The place I wanted to live and build my future and I know the right job will come. Being in the right place is going to make me the best possible person so I can truly thrive in my next role. There is nothing wrong with moving for a job as long as 1 you LOVE that job 2 the move is going to be good for YOUR LIFE.

Work from a balcony in Haifa, israel

Why is it important to think about your life first? Well, your job is not guaranteed. You could get fired 5 minutes after you read this blog (I hope you don’t) and if your whole life and identity is tied up in your job, well you’re going to have a tough time getting up off the mat. That’s why it’s important to draw boundaries between work and the other parts of your life so you can continue to develop as a holistic person. Yes, you’re going to need boundaries because work isn’t everything.

There are two ways to think about boundaries. Same statements but depending on your mental model, one might work better given the language.

• Things I will ALWAYS do regardless of work

  • ex. I will always go to my child’s sporting event (no, I don’t have a child)

• Things I will ABSOLUTELY not let work interfere with

  • ex. I will not miss a dinner at home with my family

You might be thinking those are impossible examples. Uh, no they aren’t. They’re only impossible if you choose to let work cross those boundaries. The thing about boundaries is that you need to enforce them. It might cost you something at work and that might mean you’re working at the wrong place or on the wrong thing because it’s messing up your LIFE. You have to get really clear on what you want your life to look like to fit work into it.

How does this relate to me? My boundary right now is… I will not work somewhere that is not based in the DC area. That’s it, period point blank. There might be an amazing “dream job” in NYC or Philly but is it really my dream job if it doesn’t fit my work boundary? Nope. But if I want to reasses my boundary, I’m free to do that but I must accept the cost.

So take a some time today to figure out what are some of your boundaries. Even if you’re 100% happy, it’s still important to know what you’re willing to do and not do to have the career that’s right for your life.

Getting All The Information

So you got your informational interview! Awesome, now the real work starts. I’m a former athlete and one thing is key in athletics - preparation. Preparation is also going to be the key to this meeting! Hopefully, you got your 30 minutes in a space and time that’s convenient for both of you - more convenient for them if need be. So what are you going to talk about in 30 minutes?

Anytime I have an informational interview I figure out what I want to know from the person and what key questions I think I need to ask to get the answer I want. However, I do not start the meeting by firing off questions. I also don’t ask rapid fire questions throughout. Yes it’s an informational “interview” but really, it should be treated as a conversation. Here’s how I structure the convo:

• (If at a coffee shop or lunch) I let them know this is on me as a thank you - yes I pay

• Thank you & small talk. If you’re waiting on your drink, you have to small talk. This is a great time to use the common interests. You could talk about the game that weekend or upcoming, you could remark on how you love the coffee place, you can honestly talk about the weather. Whatever it is, get yourself comfortable.

• Give a lengthier introduction of yourself - no more than a minute.

• Re-iterate why you wanted to meet with them. Talk about your excitement, what you hope to learn.

• Ask them to tell them a little more about themselves. You can use this language “I’ve read a little bit about you from (insert source) but I’d like to hear a little bit more about who you are from well, you. Yes you’re the XX at XX but I’m curious to know how you got there.”

• Boom, first real question out of the way. Whatever you hear in this answer, retain it because you’re going to want to reference it!

• Ask a couple follow on questions that touch on some of the things they mentioned. You want an easy segway into your REAL questions.

Okay now we’re at your REAL questions. What do you want to know? You may be thinking I don’t know what I don’t know, so I’m at this blog to find out. Okay well - here are some topics and questions. You can use these as a starting point or think of something in the same vein. In bold will be what you want to know, the right is what to ask.

• How to get a position like theirs - What do you feel like are the key skills someone needs to master to get in XXXX role?

• What hurdles might I have to clear - What’s one of the biggest challenges you faced getting to where you are today? How did you overcome them?

• Making yourself a noticeable employee - When you’re looking to hire someone onto your team or into your company, what do you look for?

• You want to gain perspective on the company - Mention something you know about the business of the company, ask for their opinion after giving yours

• You want to work at the company they work for - What does your best day look like? What does your worst day look like?

• What’s it like to be them - What does a typical day look like for you?

• You want them to be your mentor - Literally, bring up any real problem you’re facing right now and ask for their advice.

I will tell you now, it is 100% necessary to map out what you want to learn in advance! You don’t have to be super prescriptive above with the questions but having an idea will help you truly manage the meeting.

*Real quick on note taking - feel free to but give the person you’re talking to a heads up so it’s not weird. You can say “I feel like I’m going to get pretty good insights from you today and I don’t want to forgot. Is it okay if I take notes?”

At the end of the meeting, always always ask if they think there’s anyone else you should talk to. You should also thank them again and if you want to meet with them again, mention it. Some people will want to, some people won’t. The important thing is, you’ve gotten through an informational interview and your network has at least one new tie. GO YOU!

I’m curious to hear how you’ve managed these meetings. If you’ve been asked to have one, what was it like for you as the recipient? What do you wish the person asking would’ve done?

Getting An Informational Interview

You’ve just started at a new company. You’ve been in your role for a while and you want a change. You want to change your job and company all together. You want to know what someone else does in their day to day. You need a mentor. All of these situations and many more can benefit from an informational interview.

What is an informational interview? I define an informational interview as a one on one informal conversation that YOU initiate to seek more information from a person about themself, their job or the industry. Informational interviews are also key to building your network. Typically, you won’t know this person in an in depth way, that’s why it’s informational to you.

So how do you get one? Seek common ties. Look for the same alma mater, same industry, same previous job, same city. Really, anything that is similar. Use similarity bias to your advantage!

I did this as an intern and people will attest to you that they thought I was crazy. I was an HR intern debating business school, law school or just going straight into the workplace. I did not know what I wanted to do but I figured I should learn a little bit more about the company I was interning in case going straight to work was my path.

My first step - I went onto the company’s executive biography page one day and literally read every executive bio to see if anyone went to Michigan State. I went to MSU so of course, another MSU person would be more likely to talk to me. I got really lucky! The SVP of HR (my department) went to MSU and she also had a law degree. She was perfect for me to talk to!

Next step, I had to ask. Your ask should contain the following:

• Who you are (include some of your personal brand)

• A specific ask for an informal conversation

• Why you want to talk to them - what you hope to learn, what you want to discuss

• An ask of no more than 30 minutes!

• The option for them to recommend someone else if they decline

(You can do these cold asks in your workplace and/or via LinkedIn. Perfect if you don’t have a shared connection that can do an intro). Also, just ask. The worst they could say is no and/or ignore you.

Third step - Have a trusted friend review your email ask. If you don’t have a trusted friend right now, you can send it to me (tipsfromthetrain@gmail.com) and I’d be happy to review it. Then send it!

I sent my email the summer of 2008 and yes, I got the meeting with the SVP of HR. As an intern this is a BIG deal. Next, I had to actually have the meeting. You cannot go into these meetings cold so on the next post, we’ll dive into how to structure and manage the meeting on the next post!

In the meantime take some time today to think of someone you may want to meet with and start drafting that email.

Recognition & Recall

Recognition:

• 1: the action of recognizing : the state of being recognized:

• 2: special notice or attention

source: Merriam Webster

Listen up folks! Whether you’re a manager or an individual contributor, recognition is KEY. It is key for you to recognize others and it is key for you to recognize yourself. Someone do something helpful for you? Send them a thank you and be specific about what they did and how it helped. Your boss has been really awesome lately? Let them know about it. (Yes, you should recognize people above you). Recognition matters because it’s a motivator, a validator and helpful for job hunting.

I started doing a little “self recognition” early on in my career. If anyone sent me a thank you note or a kudos on something, I saved it in a folder. I put this under “self recognition” because on bad days- I reread them for a confidence booster. On days like today, when I’m updating and redoing my resume, this folder is an AWESOME recall tool. Let’s break it down.

There is no way after working for multi years you remember your accomplishments. There’s also no way you’re constantly updating your resume (but you should). Okay so now you have to update your resume but you have no idea what to put. This is where the recognition helps with recall.

As I mentioned before, I used to save every note, kudos and the documents related to those. When I left a job, I forwarded those emails to myself and when I could, saved the documents. I saved the documents FOR MY OWN USE and NOT for distribution. )This is important because in some cases that’s illegal and well, don’t do illegal stuff.)

Today, that folder became super helpful. I needed to redo my resume ASAP after a conversation with a career coach. She was asking me if I had any examples of certain things and I couldn’t think of them off the top of my head but I just knew I had at one point. I rushed home and low and behold, my recognition folder came in clutch with the recall!

You might be reading this like - oh shoot I’ve never done this or thought about it. Well, you can get started today and here’s how

• Search your inbox for “great job” “thank you” or “award” - anything recognition related

• FORWARD THOSE EMAILS TO YOUR PERSONAL ACCOUNT (if you don’t have a personal email, dude, get one)

• Set up an archive folder and put all of those emails in that folder so it’s easy to find in the future!

• Find any related documents you created that you got the recognition for. Save those! You’'ll want to use these to recall your actual contribution

• Send out a recognition to 3 people today

  • That’s right, this is a pay it forward blog and strategy so get those recognitions out

You’re going to thank yourself one day when you’re 1 down on yourself 2 need some examples of what you’ve actually done with your career. Recognition & recall is so important for the day to day and the future. So get started TODAY!