Next Stop with Jeana Kats: Ask For What You Need

/

“Ask and it will be given to you.” -- the Bible.

When Cherizza asked me to be a guest writer for her Tips from the Train blog, that is the phrase that popped into my head.  Because that is exactly what happened to me.

It took a cancer diagnosis at the age of 39 to finally put my work and life in perspective. Fears of not being here to see my kids through their childhood prompted me to slam my foot on the breaks.  I loved my work but I let it put me in situations where I missed out on so much going on at home - my kids’ birthdays, wedding anniversaries, countless 6am and 10pm meetings and every hour in between.  S-t-u-p-i-d. 

Post cancer treatment, I went to a life-changing retreat to take stock of things.  I got back in touch with my priorities.  I started establishing boundaries.  I plotted out a new career path that would be a win for me personally and professionally.

And, I decided I was going to leave my company. 

I made an assumption that what I wanted to do wouldn’t fit with what my company wanted.  I typed up my resignation letter and had it sitting in my draft file.  Out of the blue, I decided to at least present my case to my manager before I submitted my resignation.  I summoned my inner warrior and explained how the role I wanted to move into would be a win for the business.  My manager listened to me.  He went and thought about it.  And then, he told me ‘yes’.  He said ‘yes’ to EVERYTHING I asked for.  I still find myself feeling some pretty intense imposter syndrome even as I write this. 

I guess I am now supposed to be the poster child for knowing how to ask for what you want.  So, here are some things to ponder: 

  • If you are not in good standing at your company, get your sh*# together first.  You can’t ask for that perfect job and expect to get it if you don’t have a strong reputation.  Take an honest look at yourself and how you are showing up at work.  Make the adjustments you need to make.   Be in a super good standing before you ask for anything because there is no such thing as entitlement.

  • Don’t assume.  A few years back, I was nearly passed over for a killer job opportunity because my manager assumed I would not want the role.  I thought my manager  knew what I wanted.  Turns out he didn’t (my fault).  When I finally piped up, he didn’t flinch in giving me the job.  Speak up.  Don’t assume.  Be crystal clear about what you want. 

  •  Don’t lead with your personal agenda.  Start with how the ask fits the needs of the business.  When I talked with my manager, I didn’t even mention the personal reasons I wanted the change.  It wasn’t relevant to the conversation. 

  •  Check your ego and your inner voices -- and then put them in check.  I didn’t think I had much of an ego.  Turns out, it’s pretty enormous.  It nearly prevented me from asking for what I wanted.  And those voices in my head….they told me all sorts of reasons why I couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t get what I wanted.  Listen to those inner voices – they are there for a reason.  More importantly, know when and how to put the voices to bed when they get in the way.  

  •  Have a Plan B.  The moral of this blog isn’t ‘stay with your company’.  The moral of this story is to ask for what you need.  And have a viable plan B in your back pocket.

A wise former colleague of mine always used to say, “you trade a day of your life for every day you choose to go to work….so you better love the job you do.”  So true.  

Ask for that perfect job, that stretch assignment, that promotion, that training program, that title.  Asking for what you want is actually pretty harmless if you go about it in the right way.  If the answer is ‘no’, at least you know, at least you tried.  And, that’s worth something.  And, if the answer is ‘yes’….well, that is just beautiful.

—

Inspired by Jeana? Donate to Consano.org an organization Jeana cares about that was started by a friend and fellow survivor. Let’s get rid of cancer once and for all! I already donated, so what’s stopping you?

—

Fast Facts about Jeana

  • How do we know each other?  Cherizza and I first met back in ? 2011 ? while we were both working at Intel.  We were both on a project team, I can’t remember what the project was except that I think Cherizza was an employee experience expert at that time.

  • What three words would you use to describe yourself?  Disciplined, empathic, creative

  • Go back to your first job. If you could tell yourself anything about work, what would you tell yourself?  Sounds cliché, but it’d have to be:  “don’t take your work so seriously”.    

  • What’s one of your personal attributes that has contributed to your career success?  I always do what I say I will do.

  • Favorite career tip you’ve ever received?  “Don’t forget what life was like before you took this job”

  • Wild card, where do you most want to visit and why?  At the moment, it’s all about the Galapagos Islands.